Cutting
STRATEGIES for LIVING WELL
Copyright 2009 © by Susan Carrell
All rights reserved
From Susan@CarrellCounseling.com
April 2009
Today I was channel surfing and landed on a program called “Tattoo Hunter” on the Discovery Channel. The host’s name is Lars Krutak. Lars and his crew identify primitive tribes around the world that perform tattooing. They attempt to befriend the natives, hoping to experience their tattooing practices. This time they were in Mozambique to learn about the ancient, forbidden practice of tattooing which is a rite of passage signaling a boys transition from childhood to maturity.
A message to parents appeared on the screen after every commercial break warning that children might become upset by viewing the program. No kidding! I was unable to watch the entire show myself. The camera close-ups of primitive knives piercing the flesh of thirteen year old boys as they grimaced or cried out in pain was too much for me. I found smearing the dark colored gook—ground up leaves or a mixture of ashes, I’m not sure—into the fresh wounds equally disconcerting.
The procedure used by natives in Mozambique was a far cry from the (hopefully) sterilized electric needles used in the West to create body art. I couldn’t help but think of the practitioners and clients at the beauty shop that I go to. There’s a tattoo parlor in the back and most of the hair stylists, including mine, are bedecked with body art from stem to stern. One never knows if the clients waiting in the reception area are there for a new tattoo or a hair cut. But I digress.
The Tattoo Hunter program made me think about a much more serious phenomenon than tattooing that is alive and well in our own country. Cutting, also called self-mutilation, has long been with us, but today it’s become all too commonplace, especially among young people. I’ll explain.
Some people have a very difficult time regulating their emotions. Mental health professionals refer to this as “emotional dysregulation”. While emotionally healthy individuals are able to manage difficult emotions such as anger, disappointment, humiliation and guilt, people with emotional dysregulation can not. Their response to these feelings knows no bounds. That is, when they experience anger, it feels like rage. Disappointment may lead to feelings that life is not worth living. Humiliation may make them feel completely worthless. Guilt can plunge them into the abyss of depression.
You have probably known people like this. If you hurt their feelings, even unintentionally, their reaction is extreme. You are the evil one and forgiveness does not come easily. The slightest misstep on your part causes them to go ballistic. Therefore, you walk on eggshells when you are around them.
When emotional distress becomes intolerable, some people with emotional dysregulation find that inflicting pain on their body by cutting—with a razor, knife, pen, pencil, paperclip, etc.—alleviates the psychic pain. It is a strange but, for some people, an effective way to feel better, at least for the moment.
Adolescence is a tumultuous time at best. In general, young people are more vulnerable to fluctuating and extreme emotions than adults. Of course, most adolescents and young adults do not cut. But when I googled “cutting yourself”, I got 67,900,000 hits. Here are some of the posts I found:
I have done it, although not to any extreme degree, and not so that anyone at all noticed. At the time…I was in great emotional pain over a guy, and somehow felt that to physically hurt myself gave me a reason to feel so bad. Sort of bringing the physical and the mental into equilibrium, so to speak.
I’m 12 years old I’v been cutting for 2 years. I just stoped about a month ago. No I didn’t do it for attetion. I was going through alot of stuff . It was really hard time . So I found cutting my wrists ,legs,hips,and my stomach as a relif . It really helped alot. I was hospitlised for a few days because i had cut really bad at one of my low points. So ANYONE who cuts please try and stop, becuase once you start you really never stop.
I did it in high school. For me it was a control thing. It made me feel powerful and in control when the rest of my life seemed too crazy. It was certainly not for attention since no else knew. When I tried to stop I found it very hard. I did a paper about it later in college and found that some researches say that the chemicals released in the brain when cutting are very powerful and can be addictive for some people. That’s why it can be so hard to stop. It’s not impossible though. I haven’t done it in years and I never get the urge to anymore.
The sad thing is that these young people seemed so alone in their distress. Parents and other adults—teachers, coaches, aunts, uncles, grandparents, pastors—need to look for signs of distress in young people who may not be able to reach out for help and respond with interest and compassion.
Look for signs of cutting if you know a young person who seems to struggle with his feelings and appears depressed, anxious, or just generally unhappy. Be suspicious if she hides parts of her body that would usually be visible such as wearing long sleeves in warm weather. Don’t be afraid to take her aside, ask questions, and express concern.
Cutting may be a rite of passage for adolescent boys in certain tribes in Mozambique, but cutting in the United States is a serious sign of emotional distress that deserves the care and attention of responsible adults.
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